Intro: Eb Db Ab

Chorus:
           Eb (D/Eb - C - Bb)      Eb
He wants a shoehorn, the kind with teeth
Eb     Bb         Eb     Bb    Ab      Bb
People should get beat up  for stating their beliefs
           Eb (D/Eb - C - Bb)      Eb
He wants a shoehorn, the kind with teeth
           Eb    D/Eb    C  Bb   Eb
Because he knows there's no such thing

Verse 1:
          Ab
He asks a girl if they can both sit in a chair 
       Eb
But he doesn't get nervous
Ab               Bb
She's not really there

Chorus:
He wants a shoehorn, the kind with teeth
Because he knows there's no such thing

Verse 2:
         Ab
Tour the world in a heavy metal band
         Eb
But they run out of gas
    Ab              Bb
The plane can never land

Chorus:
He wants a shoehorn, the kind with teeth
People should get beat up  for stating their beliefs
He wants a shoehorn, the kind with teeth
Because he knows there's no such thing

Verse 3:
What's the sense in ever thinking about the tomb
When you're much too busy returning to the womb?

Chorus:
He wants a shoehorn, the kind with teeth
People should get beat up  for stating their beliefs
He wants a shoehorn, the kind with teeth
Because he knows there's no such thing